I have been a part of the fathers’ rights movement

I have been a part of the fathers’ rights movement for over a decade. It is the only thing I do, since I live on Social Security Disability. In the early days, we did a lot of protest. Even picketed the home of the county prosecutor, for not enforcing Missouri’s visitation denial law (R.S. Mo. 565.156 (5)). His wife turned a water home on us. I will try to find the pictures, and get them scanned in for here. From my experience, picketing achieves little to nothing, except to make people think we’re just a bunch of whining dads.

To achieve change, it has to be done in the courtroom, and with the right knowledge, that can be done. No matter how bias the judge. How do I know this? Because the National Organization for Women has complained about our methods, saying that it scares too many judges into giving fathers custody. According to them, even abusive fathers. The usually political rhetoric.

Preparing properly for a case is only part of what needs to be done. You needs people, who are not involved int he case, to be there as “Court Watchers.” These are people who sit up front in the public area, and take notes. They make sure that the judge sees them taking notes. If asked, they identify themselves as court watchers. The father does not introduce them, or even acknowledges them, but they do sit behind the father. A judge cannot even order them to leave.

These person make judges very nervous about making decisions that do not take into account all the evidence in a case. And if he does anyway, then you have five witnesses to it, that can testify against the judge, getting him/her removed from the bench, and the decision overturned.

We here at NCFC have a court watch form that is a part of our manual, along with instructions on how to use it.

If you want to pick something, when denied access to the children, picket the home of the mother, or her job. That has been effective. Especially when they work at the post office, where you can picket right at the front door.

Put up her area, with a picture of the children, and the phrase, “Have you seen my children, I wish I could. Their Dad.”

I have been doing it for 11 years

I have been doing it for 11 years. The problem is fathers don’t seek help until their ass is in a vise, not at the beginning when it would have been much easier to teach them what they needed to know.

As far as organizing, I well remember my early days in 1989, trying to organize groups in Missouri and Kansas. But, I have to warn you, a father who currently has an active case should not lead a father’s group. The reason is that when a father wants to talk to you about their case, you end up talking about your own case, and not helping him. Plus, there is all the body bags you will be seeing.

In my 11 years, I have attended many funerals of fathers who gave up and committed suicide. These are fathers who have already reached their limits by the time they contact us. Spotting it can be a problem, and if you see that the father is severely depressed, you try to get them help. But as men, we tend to reject the idea of going to a shrink.

Even worse, I have held up too many fathers, as we attended the funeral of their children, who were killed by the mother. This happens in cases where the father is going to win custody, and the mother simply will not give up the kids. Statistically, mothers are the cause of 55% of all fatal child abuse.

I even tried to commit suicide, after a case in 1996, where a father I had been trying to get into counseling, shot himself in the head, but the bullet went through his head, striking and killing his daughter, also. It was an easy case to get over.

So, consider long and hard about starting a group. Far better leaders of fathers groups are women. And men are more open to them.

As far as your law is concerned

As far as your law is concerned, you would have to speak with board members more familiar with it. But, the fact is, court decisions have changed more laws, then all the sobbing dads giving emotional testimony before congressional or state legislative committees. The problem is learning what all you can to to manipulated the system in your favor. The law you addressed, I imagine was originally meant to help fathers trying to get custody. Fathers doing the exact same thing she is doing. There are always drawbacks to the best laid plans, even when you are talking about legislative changes. What can be created to help protect one person, can be manipulated by the other. Muranda Rights is a good example. There was a reasonable reason, mostly having to do with Southern Georgia County Sheriffs, for the requirement to read the rights to a suspect. But, there are those who then take advantage of it.

More then anything, for this reason why it is so important to educate fathers on how to fight for their rights and better work with their attorneys. It needes to be a uniform education, nation wide, so that in all corners of this country, fathers with favorable rulings can then take that case law to the state house, or congress, to show that a change needs to be brought about to curtail to high legal costs fighting for one’s rights.

That what I do, with NCFC. It is what I have done for 11 years. Today I have been working since 10 am, and it is now coming up to 1 am. I have been working on revisions on our manual, to make it even easier to understand, and navigate on a computer. I’ve converted it into a PDF file.

In that time, I have also taken several calls, and chatted with fathers through Yahoo Messager, MS Message, and ICQ. And no, I’m mostly a workaholic. But, that is what it takes to bring about change, and to help as many fathers as possible. Fortunately I am on social Security Disability, so I don’t to work a job. But, the material is helping no one sitting in my computer, so you should conder becoming a member of NCFC. Let’s see what we can do to help you. You can call me at (913) 385-3237 or 1-800-SEE-DADS. Though the 800 line isn’t working right now. It’s been ringing in California, but is being transferred to me, and someone screwed up the transfer. We waiting for them to fix it.

Best time to get me is after 4 PM, east coust time.